In the dark kitchen while all lay asleep
I stood shorter than the countertop
determined to throw away my blanket of comfort
self worn to soft holding of me.
The mouth of the garbage can
that lived under the sink
hungry for layers of softness
swallowed them down easily.
My four year old self threw away weakness
like an explorer sailing to uncharted seas
I declared myself ready for the mystery of the grown up.
Without need for a fall back into security
how sure I was of my power to leave the shore
of my dearly loved comfort layer.
Where did the urgency come from
to stop leaning
depending on
go it alone without reliance?
Years later in my cold bed determined and proud
still I wonder why I needed to prove my toughness
hurry away from childhood.
© Alicia Grimshaw 2018
flashlight batteries - Ali Grimshaw 
Wonderful poem and remembrance and consequence. My advice: Go GET a Blanket, It’s ALLOWED, and pretty nice. 🙂 You’ve earned the right. Your poem made me think of this little xkcd gem, hope it brings a smile. 😉
https://www.xkcd.com/150/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your response made me smile. Indeed I have many fuzzy throw blankets in various rooms to fill the snuggling need. And yes, we all deserve this type of comfort. Thanks for your response.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mmm, such a good point. We rush toward adulthood, then wish we could go back.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I appreciate knowing you could relate to this one. Thanks for stopping by.
LikeLike
It did make me wonder why a child would feel the need to throw away her security blanket at only four. I felt sad for her, but also admired her spirit! Independence is such a trick thing, at any age.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ann, I too wondered why a child so young would be driven to take this kind of action. Childhood is a precious time of growth and exploration. How can we honor the child as an individual and support the path she wants to take?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it’s something we need to be more aware of. Unfortunately, all too often we simply see young children as extensions of ourselves, or as blank slates that are waiting to be written on. Yet they are already unique individuals, worthy of our respect and acceptance.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I declared myself ready for the mystery of the grown
up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for sharing my journey dear friend.
LikeLike
Love this!
The ritual of separating your self from others, and claiming independence and freedom. I remember the same feeling, and the need to assert.
It’s still there 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Val, thank you for letting me know this poem resonated with you. It sounds like your independence has served you well.💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sad, the rush to get through childhood. Personally I was ready to leave it behind. But for most, childhood shouldn’t be about being brave and strong. Maybe the start of that kind of discovery about one’s self. Excellent piece Ali.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for your reflection. I’m glad to hear the poem resonated for you. Keep shining your light my friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice last stanza about regretting to leave childhood.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Frank. I appreciate your feedback.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I clearly remember, as a child, lying in bed and repeating over and over – “I don’t need anyone.” Interesting how we develop and gain our inner strength.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for letting me know that you connected with the poem. What an interesting memory. I wonder how much of our striving for independence is a survival instinct?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think that is it completely. I grew up in a chaotic household. Hard to get any needs met.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It sounds like your independence helped you to become a survivor. Do your write to heal, survive or both?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Both. Thanks, Ali.
Like
What a sweet story of letting go and growing up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. Reflecting back on life can be such an interesting process.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, we do so many things, let go of our comforts perhaps too soon in life, and left to wonder about it later. Perhaps that was the right choice for us then.
A sweet rendering of how growth is actually experienced. Well-penned.
-HA
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your kind response. The experience of childhood is very different for everyone and yet we all share growth spurts.
LikeLike
So nicely done, Ali!
LikeLike
Thank you Kim. Have a great day.
LikeLike
Loved this!! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Childhood days were a wondrous time, I too wondered why the urge to get out and climb
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe it is a survival instinct?? Have a beautiful day Ivor.
LikeLike
😊 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Its funny how we were all in a hurry to grow up when we were young. Hope that adventuresome spirit brought happy discoveries.
Thanks for sharing your childhood memory.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Grace.
LikeLike