Begin again

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now, before you change your mind

and doubt blankets you with too comfortable

while familiar climbs onto your lap, warmly weighty

and resignation joins in to pull courage from the room

before you are left alone on the cold couch

deserted by dreams of sitting under

a green tree of sunlight.

© Ali Grimshaw 2019

 

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Let me

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I will sing you comfort when your voice forgets the notes.

I will sing you a clearing to feel the warmth on your back.

I will sing you courage for days when you need to hear the music again.

I will sit in silence listening to your song

when you have forgotten it exists.

© Alicia Grimshaw 2018

Invisible Weight

Your bones scream to rest

an anvil on your chest

no dawn comes lightly.

Invite the monster to sit with you

it gains ugliness with denial

put your arm around that which

you don’t want to hold.

© Alicia Grimshaw 2018

When you come out of the grips of a depression there is an incredible relief, but not one you feel allowed to celebrate. Instead, the feeling of victory is replaced with anxiety that it will happen again, and with shame and vulnerability when you see how your illness affected your family, your work, everything left untouched while you struggled to survive. We come back to life thinner, paler, weaker … but as survivors. Survivors who don’t get pats on the back from coworkers who congratulate them on making it.” – Jenny Lawson’s book  Furiously Happy

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