Somewhere near the produce between the oranges and tumbling peppers a song, Ed Sheeran is singing and the tears arrive, as I listen. (I don't usually cry in public but the emotion is undeniable.)
I am still as a river rock, while the shoppers flow around, struck by hearing the words I couldn't hear before. I let their message in feeling what you were trying to say. What I was unable to receive before.
I don't care that I am crying next to the bananas.
She led me to the library, fed stories to my ears taught me how to keep the family blood circulating to pull my shoulders back, stand proud
she showed me laughter around the table camping in cold rain, beauty beyond lipstick the effective use of stubborn determination
she made a million meals without consideration flowered apron ready dinners with a smile Did she even enjoy cooking? I don't remember anyone asking her.
She washed clothes, replacing them in drawers a revolving door of dirty to clean just another behind the scenes devotion.
How much did we notice the way she kept the boat afloat watching for leaks while we slept.
you believe that saying the right thing
will dissolve the pain, that you should
know how to ascend the sunken
afloat in powerlessness without
the words to reach the aggrieved
restore their hearts to harmony
don’t be swallowed by your lacking
the right words never have been
what the grieving seek
sufficient is whole face listening
eyes intent to bridge being
ears strong enough to hear
without changing the subject
and you can do that
anyone can
make that choice
First published on VITA BREVIS PRESS 2018
For those are are grieving today. I send this to you with love.