What if you believed it would all work out?
Would your breath come with ease
would you giggle at yourself, delight in the breeze
raise your waving hand, yell out “me too,”
with the aliveness of your five year old self?
Would you skip across the parking lot
dressed in sequins, colors that say, “I have arrived.”
Would you walk long enough to greet the dusk
stepping lightly until it kissed the sky goodnight?
What if you did?
© Alicia Grimshaw 2018
what you had always assumed
to be solid, now soggy sadness
water warped windows with
a view misguided, bended
memories altered the truth
will you forgive yourself
for all that was unseen before?
© Alicia Grimshaw 2018
I will sing you comfort when your voice forgets the notes.
I will sing you a clearing to feel the warmth on your back.
I will sing you courage for days when you need to hear the music again.
I will sit in silence listening to your song
when you have forgotten it exists.
© Alicia Grimshaw 2018
© Alicia Grimshaw 2017
Your bones scream to rest
an anvil on your chest
no dawn comes lightly.
Invite the monster to sit with you
it gains ugliness with denial
put your arm around that which
you don’t want to hold.
© Alicia Grimshaw 2018
“When you come out of the grips of a depression there is an incredible relief, but not one you feel allowed to celebrate. Instead, the feeling of victory is replaced with anxiety that it will happen again, and with shame and vulnerability when you see how your illness affected your family, your work, everything left untouched while you struggled to survive. We come back to life thinner, paler, weaker … but as survivors. Survivors who don’t get pats on the back from coworkers who congratulate them on making it.” – Jenny Lawson’s book Furiously Happy
According to her internal judge
she was never up to par,
even when crossing the finish line first
accomplishment slid off her skin. Always
gripping, holding on for acceptance.
Yet perplexed separation pained her days.
She wanted belonging
and never wanted to fit in
knew it would change her.
A part broken off to float away irretrievable.
No one else stayed after class to console the bullied teacher.
It never occurred to her not to.
She saw those faces on the fringe,
secretly knowing she was an outlier as well.
She let go of the kinship rope
not to lose herself.
© Alicia Grimshaw 2017
I will embrace you
in this house of circumstance
walls cracked and cratered
plaster fallen failures.
Shelter you with my being
through the unavoidable crumbling
a steel umbrella in the storm.
I gave grown capable of being
the shelter, like the arch of
protection you once were
for me. I am solid
even as the erosion continues
with you under my wings.
© Ali Grimshaw 2018
If you are wondering
doubting,
don’t give up. Stay.
Someone loves the light
only you can be.
© Ali Grimshaw 2018
National Poetry Writers Month 2018 – Click to read more poems.
Can two words be enough,
make a poem on their own
to shake the passers by awake.
Just a couple, woven into
the fabric of an ordinary day?
Please tell me they can.
© Ali Grimshaw 2018
Photo of a local high school fence, Oregon
what must we pay for
our history, a fresh start
seaward in one boat.
Na/GloPoWriMo – April is National/Global Poetry Writers Month
flashlight batteries - Ali Grimshaw 